Stepping Back Into the Studio
By Maddie DeVries - Tang
One year ago, I hung up my ballet shoes. After years of training, performing, and pouring myself fully into dance, I thought I was closing that chapter for good. Retirement from the studio and the stage felt final. But as He so often does, God had other plans.
When I first walked back into the studio recently, I was flooded with emotions—familiarity, gratitude, awe. This was the very space where I had trained and performed for the last ten years. A space that once held the intensity of rehearsals and the thrill of performances now holds something new: healing. God has been using this return not to reopen an old door, but to invite me through a new one.
Growing up, ballet studios were filled with wonder for me. I loved the freedom of twirling across the room, the joy of leaping higher and higher, and feeling like the sky had no limits. Supported by family and teachers who believed in me, I dreamed big. I worked hard. And God, in His goodness, opened door after door. Those doors eventually led me to a dream job performing with Alonzo King—a blessing and honor I never could have imagined when I was that little girl dancing in my living room to Swan Lake.
But even as God opened those doors, there was always a quiet tension in my heart. I carried doubts and fears about my future and especially teaching. I often wondered, “Will I know what to say? Can I use my voice well?” For so long, I said “no” to teaching and even “no” to God, out of fear and uncertainty. Yet, there was always this still small voice inside me whispering that one day I would teach.
God’s call to teach at BJM came gently but clearly. When Gabby first reached out, I said yes to volunteering and almost immediately, I knew deep down this was where I was meant to be. Each small and timid “yes” felt like a baby step of obedience, slowly building toward the bigger “yes” of joining the team as staff. Looking back, I see how God was preparing my heart all along, teaching me that He doesn’t need my perfection, just my willingness to say yes. I trusted that God would provide me with the strength, words, and guidance for every class.
On my very first day stepping back into the studio for our fall semester classes, there was an energy of hope in the air. Light streamed through the windows and landed elegantly on the studio floor. I put on soft worship music and the teachers gathered in a circle to pray. We asked that this space would be a pocket of heaven for the girls—a safe place of wonder and curiosity, where their hearts could feel the depth of God’s love and joy. That continues to be our prayer before every class.
Starting the class this way calmed my nerves, and I felt a peace and warmth that only comes from our Creator. Then the girls flooded into the space with even more light and my heart leapt. We sat in a circle sharing our hopes and dreams for the semester, prayed together with a “repeat-after-me” prayer, and then got up to stretch and move our bodies in worship! Every class since has followed this rhythm. And what was once timid nerves and fear about my voice has grown to become a place of freedom, joy, and confidence in who God created me to be.
Years of my training and journey have taught me that there is always more to discover and learn – a deeper level of understanding to reach. I feel this even now in my teaching. And I hope to pass that on to my students. I want to encourage their growth with boldness, vulnerability, and the freedom to always see failure or a “mistake” as an opportunity for beauty and discovery. Everything I learned as a performer is what I now get to pour back into them.
I can’t even explain how thankful I am for this opportunity to teach these girls. It has already taught me so much. And I know God will continue the work in me as I keep saying “yes” to Him, even when I am afraid, nervous, or doubting myself. We never need to doubt, because He is our strength.
Stepping into BJM has shown me the beauty of that promise. BJM is a place where both students and teachers are invited to grow. It’s a safe space to speak boldly and confidently, to learn discernment and wisdom, and to let love guide every word and action. When I first returned to the studio, I was timid—unsure if I could truly step into this role. But through the encouragement of the other teachers, and most importantly through God’s gentle guidance and love, I have found my voice. I’ve learned to speak with clarity and pour out love onto the students entrusted to me.
It is no surprise how much the girls in turn give back to me. Their joy, resilience, and creativity inspires me to see the world with fresh eyes. They remind me to not to take myself too seriously, to dance with freedom, and to trust God’s presence in both the little things and the big things. They teach me as much as I teach them.
Looking back, I can see now what I couldn’t then: God always knew the trajectory of my life. He knew that even after years of performing, He would bring me back to the studio to experience His redemption and healing.
Stepping back into this space is no longer about what I personally can give to my audience. It’s about walking alongside the next generation, creating space for them to dream, and allowing their lives to impact and shape mine, too.
And in that, I have found such joy.
